Gloria Steinem can pog mo thoin!!!

Feminism is a big lie. There, I said it. It’s out. I have hesitated to write this post for a while, even though it has been rattling around my head. My hesitation is based on the fact that I have no intention of making this blog a forum for anything else than light social commentary, random thoughts, a little gossip and bitching here and there, keeping the writing wheel greased with my daily 500 words and all that other bloggy goodness.

But I am so annoyed, so let down by the whole “promise to women” and “women’s equality” and all that shite, I need to let it out. I know I am going to piss a lot of people off by this post, but so be it. Hear me out before you comment.

Who wins the Battle of the Sexes? Men. Hands down. And you what they use as their pinch hitter? Feminism. We can cohabitate without the security of marriage, pretend we are wives, cook, clean, put up with the shit, and they can leave without a second thought. All they have to do is pack a bag. Doesn’t really sound like a fair deal to me. Now is the time when you are going to comment about your particular relationship being equal and he does more cooking and cleaning than you do, yadda, yadda, yadda. Nope. I don’t buy it. Girls, we are diet wives – wives 2.0 beta. They learn how to be human beings for the women (younger, no loud biological clocks) who will benefit for all we have taught them. And they will marry them.

Caught between the Pre and the Post Feminist Era This is another sore point or me. Feminism has seen more women in the workforce which you would think would be a good thing from my feminine point of view, right? Wrong! There are women who have no interest in having a career but find themselves in the new post-feminist society which has told them they are scum if they have no ambition in the business world. They find themselves in situations that are wholly unfulfilling but they have to support themselves – remember, no marriage, no male “bread-winner”? You are a backward idiot if your only ambition is to keep a home and raise children so go out there and break your back for just over minimum wage. And you better pull your weight because you ain’t getting married anytime soon.

People, you know these poor women who are caught in between the pre and post feminist world. They work because they are supposed and leave their children in day care even though it kills them. Go past a receptionist or the HR department. Look the framed pictures of children on desks, look at the women with candy on their desk, who make sure they bring in a cake for a birthday on the floor. These women don’t want careers. Real career women will not do those kinds of things. Real career women can't do these things and continue to be taken seriously. At least, that is the thought. So even if I wanted to give into that italian woman instinct of mine to feed everyone, I would never bring in brownies to a business meeting. Not if I really wanted them to listen to me.

But why am I annoyed by these women, even though I do feel for them? Because when they are weak, the women in the office, the ones that sharpen their talons to do battle with grey suits, day after day, suffer. I was told once in a salary review that I was “too aggressive”. If you think that a man would get that kind of feedback, you are totally deluded. It is my job to be aggressive. I am strategist in one of the largest companies on the planet. It is my job to get people to listen to me. Too aggressive? Hmmmm. Men bosses would rather have the candy-offering, birthday-remembering, fuzzy-pencil, flower mug, babies on their PC wallpaper women in the office. They don’t have arguments about salary with these women.

The phenomenon of maternity leave. I have been covering for 2 women on maternity leave for the past YEAR! In Europe, they are entitled to a lot of leave which is great except if you are the one covering for them. So what happens when one of them comes back? She comes back 5 months pregnant. Then she gets a doctor’s note to go out on sick leave 2 weeks after she got back. So she will be out on sick leave until she is due for maternity leave. All paid in full. I did a quick calculation and for her 9 months at the company of which she actually worked, she will be paid for 2 years of not working.

I am not suggesting that becoming a mother is not work! It certainly is and should be treated like a full time job with benefits and entitlements like every other job in the world but tell me how come I am doing the work of 3 people and I don’t get the chance to garner the same benefits. Oh, and I have to do the late nights, all the travelling and the weekends because I don’t have a family. When am I going to have a social life which will lead to me getting pregnant because I sure don’t have one now!!! Also, what if I were sterile? Could I take a maternity leave and “give birth” to a novel.

This is another bi-product of feminism. It has pitted woman against woman who, for whatever reason, have found themselves leading different lives. It has made us competitive with each other, and no longer just for men, for everything – job, money, status, power. It has told us our natural instinct and biological tendencies are old-fashioned and should be suppressed. It has allowed men to get out of once was a shared responsibility to children and for what? The women who wanted careers over family could have had that in the 1950’s. Many, many did. Was it an uphill climb? Sure but it still is! I am not getting paid as much as the men who are doing the same job as me and I can’t win because if I point this out, if I demand it, I am “too aggressive”. As far as I can see, absolutely nothing has gotten easier.

Good with the Bad. Don’t get me wrong – I am in no hurry to get married and have a family. I like being independent and successful. I am glad I own my own house and car, etc. and I certainly do not begrudge maternity leave, even long ones, but I am unhappy about this social engineering that went on without my consent. I am unhappy when I have to contend with a social order which doesn’t feel natural. I don’t feel “empowered”. I do feel stressed, over-tired and lonely sometimes.

I guess mine is the new face of feminism.