Lessons on Love and Karma

It is usually fleeting moments that make all the difference. The biggest, most profound experiences from which I have gained the most wisdom have been epiphanies in tiny moments. I had such an experience today.

The weather in Ireland is incredibly and uncharacteristically warm. In my land of eternal spring, summer has come. It has been in the 90's (not upper) which has meant that it has been the hottest it has been in this country this century! It doesn't get very hot. Right now, it is down right tropical. Seeing as it was such a beautiful day and my 2:30 conference call cancelled, I decided to go to the beach before my 4:00 conference call. I can do that. In Dublin, I live close enough to both a beautiful beach and nature reserve on one side of the road and a huge park which used to be part of the Guinness estate with a 2 acre rose garden on the other. So, Fergus my dog and I jump into the car - I don't even put shoes on - and we go.

The tide was out when we got there and so we walked down the beach. It was more crowded than I had seen it in a while but nothing like the public beaches in the States. I remember when JPD and I used to play hookie from work and go to Hull on like a Tuesday at 2pm. The place was packed. Here, there were maybe 50 people on a stretch of strand that goes on for about 5 miles.

Fergus got distracted by other dogs on the beach. Smelling arses takes a lot of concentration apparently. I started wading out into the water. Fergus does not like the water. He made that very apparent to me the first time I gave him a bath after bringing him home from the pound. He does not go in the ocean, runs away from me when I try to force him out in the rain and generally treats water the same way he treats dry dog food - as little contact as possible. He is a Jack Russell Terrier - Terrier being the operable word here. Terriers, as in Terre, as in of the earth. He digs a damn fine hole.

Anyway, I start wading into the water while Fergus is otherwise indisposed. The water is so warm now, I swear, if this isn't an indication of global warming nothing is! Warm water in Ireland! Most of the time you need a wet suit to keep your heart from stopping but today, today it was like bath water. I couldn't resist! I dropped the sunglasses, the cell phone and the car keys on the sand, went back into the water with all my clothes on and this time, jumped in and started swimming. It felt so, so, so good - I will dream about it tonight. It has been ages since I have been swimming in the ocean and every fiber of my being, every instinctual element of my water-sign persona was telling me it was right! Damn my irrational fear of sharks! Otherwise, I would have been in complete heaven.

While I was basking in the middle of the beautiful warm water with the Dublin mountains rising to the south of me and Howth head rising to the north with a tranquil sail boat in the distance as if it were painted on the horizon completing the scene, I was congratulating myself. I was thinking about all those poor suckers in the office while I was technically, on a lunch break. I was floating in the ocean, staring up at the blue sky, fully clothed and totally wet, I was patting myself on the back on how I "beat the system" in some way and then I saw him! Fergus! Fergus who was looking for me from the beach and had spotted me in the water! Fergus who does not usually swim but who was making his body which only clears 1.5 feet off the ground into over 3.5 feet of water.

He saw me and started coming towards me and I panicked. I couldn't yell to him because he would have taken it as encouragement to keep coming. As I mentioned, it was low tide and I had swam out quite a bit so there was a lot of distance between me and my dog. I saw he started to loose his footing - he would be out too far in a minute. I started to swim like it was the last day of my life and it would have been if I saw that little head go under the water. When I could no longer swim because I was scraping the bottom, I started running in thigh high water. My heart was pounding and about to explode in my rib cage. I was sweating and I was in the water.

I was thinking - if Fergus drowns, I will not be able to live with myself. You may as well pull me under as well too God because I would not be able to live with watching him drown. And yeah, come to think of it, I was talking to God in my head, unconsciously praying I guess.

Here I am, looking at this little dog who is trying to get to me, through water which he hates. He is putting himself in this position because a) he thinks I am in trouble and is being brave or b) he just needs to be near me, no matter what. Either way, I can't believe how this little living thing has become such part of my life and would think that I am important enough to risk the water. And I can't believe how much I love him, partly because I don't know many people who think that I am as important as Fergus thinks I am.

Cats are graceful and beautiful in their aloofness but dogs, man, you want to know what reciprocated unconditional love is? Get a dog.

I reached him before he could tire from swimming. I picked him up and walked him out of the water. When I put him down he started running around in circles which is something that he does when he is overjoyed about something and can't contain it. He dug a couple of enthusiastic holes in the sand. I think we were sharing a moment there - a "hey, look, we are still here together and not in the water" moment. I dug a couple of holes with him because I couldn't contain my joy that he was still with me. And then I thought of how I was a bit too self-satisfied and I thought about Karma. I thought about the bad mood I was in yesterday, and I thought about perspective. And I "get" it a little more now than I did a few hours ago. All this before my 4 pm conference call.