Cookie the Horse and Jan the Weenie

I got a call today about 4 pm my time from Jan, the German guy, who lives near me in Cork, who is supposed to be checking on whether or not I can get broadband in the cottage. This is severely important to me because if I can get broadband in the cottage, it means I can fully work from the cottage and if I can fully work from the cottage, it means that I can move away from Dublin forever and live a life of complete and total beauty and bliss in the bounty and dream-like landscape of West Cork. Whether or not I want to forgo Dublin in toto is another discussion but I certainly want the option.

So Jan, a tall, blond, strapping Teutonic lad that he is, told me all about his company one night at the tin pub and raised my hopes and expectations that perhaps, just maybe, they would be able to bring my little stone cottage, which doesn't even boast central heating, a place in modern technology. The only thing standing in the way, apparently, was Cookie the horse. Jan and his equally as cowardly companion, would not take the damn truck up through the field to my house because they were - and I quote directly - "not comfortable with the horse".

Jan, with all his manly bravado and Aryan nation pride, Ladies and Gentlemen, would not take on the challenge of Cookie the horse. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I submit Exhibit A, a picture of Cookie.




Does this look like the face of a killer much less the kind of beast that would keep two strong young men away from their journey up the field to a lone, defenseless cottage???

Anyway, they did not check to see if I could get broadband or not because Jan and whoever else was in the truck with him was afraid of Cookie the Horse. She is about my height which is 5 foot nothing and is easily pushed around with a gentle hand and the bribe of some cookies (hence the name, get it?)

Verdict is that I have to wait for the next 3 weeks before they can even tell me if they think I can get broadband in the cottage.

I shouldn't be that surprised. Jan is a sissy name. It is a scared of a poor defenseless and curious horse name. I am naming my next horse "Jan is a Weenie" but only on the racing ticket. In the stables it will be called by the name of Weenie because it is less gay than Jan.

[that is Cookie in the window and my mom next to her. Awww. Bless.]